Mi amante (My lover)

The first time I met him we were both dancing dressed in white. The last time I saw him I walked away without looking back. He was the older man that meant nothing when I first met him and everything when I left.

I have never been in love. Fact. Mid 20s living in the new century and not for a day have I been in love. I have loved traveling to hot countries, dancing the days and nights away, friends, food and expensive shoes but I have never loved a man.

When I first met B I had been fighting with a friend and kissed him to prove something to myself. He came back to mine and soon it was a lovely if casual affair. When we woke in the morning he turned to me and told me that he had to go and help a friend move house but that he would be back in a few hours and was already counting the minutes to his return.

Last night, three years after the first time I met him and a year since the last time I saw him I lay awake wishing that I had told him all the things I my heart screamed by my mouth kept silent.

So if I could go back to that last glorious summer morning where I said goodbye in the middle of the street corner, B, I would have stayed with you, counting the minutes until your return even though you hadn't already left.

So congratulations and goodbye B, I hope that she loves you like I could have

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